This is the very descriptively named big red jellyfish (Tiburonia granrojo). The dude who discovered it originally intended to name it Big Ugly Jellyfish, which would also be very descriptive. ![]() Look at it and say in my face that it isn’t. They don’t know whether it uses them to fight or to climb surfaces, but either way, it’s scary as shit. Namely, it breaks its own toe bones and forces them through its own skin. But the way it uses them is probably even more badass. ![]() This also means that if you cut its fur, it bleeds. What’s even better is the fact that it has retractable claws, Wolverine style. 7.: The Werewolf FrogĬontinuing with yet another surprisingly appropriate animal for this holiday, the male of the horror frog (Trichobatrachus robustus) grows hairs in mating season, which are packed with arteries to help it breathe underwater while guarding its eggs. Thankfully, this rumor proved to be false… because candirús prefer to attack women. It’s so scary that there’s a myth of it riding up the piss stream of men taking a leak, wedging itself into their urethra, and sucking blood directly from their dicks. It can suck more blood than its own blood volume, which causes its belly to swell out like some weird fish mosquito. That’s because this thing sucks blood after anchoring itself onto its prey using a pair of oversized vampire fangs. Hailing from the Amazon River, the candirú (Vandellia cirrhosa) is one of the most dreaded Amazonian fish, even trumping the infamous piranha, despite the fact that it’s only a few centimeters long. To survive in these horrid conditions, its body is practically made of jelly - it’s so stretchy that when it descends, it’s flattened into a pancake. Despite its cuteness, it’s not to be underestimated, though - it lives in the soul-crushing depth of the deep deep down, with immense pressure, ass-freezing cold and absolute darkness surrounding it for basically all its life. Opisthoteuthidae), a deep-sea ball of tentacles and adorable little fins. ![]() No, this is not a bedsheet ghost, however may it look like one. Even better, they live on land, and sleep in the woods near the seashore during the day in groups of hundreds, but during the night, they emerge and swarm out of the forest to feed on the shore, no doubt scaring the shit out of people happening upon the scuttling army of tiny death crabs sporting macabre facelike prints on their shells.īoo! 9.: The Tiny Ghost That’s Actually an Octopus ![]() Not only does it look like a Jack’o’Lantern on spider legs and huge hooked claws, it’s also decked out in festive colors (black, orange, purple). The day of irrationally giggling gourds and children running around in ridiculous costumes has finally arrived! And for this day, I’ll compile ten Halloween-themed monstrosities of the water world! Brace thyselves, folks, and let the madness begin! 10.: Night of the Evil Crabsįirst in line is the aptly-named Halloween crab (Gecarcinus quadratus). But what the hell, that’s not for you guys to worry about, happy Halloween! Since all I do here is review some of the most terrifying shit the seething depths of the oceans can offer, I’m in a bit of trouble sorting out the best material for this article. Let me tell you folks, I’m in a real pinch here.
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